Professional Help for Sexual Problems in Sydney
Intimacy, Lust, and Love
Intimacy is our capacity to make and keep deep and long-lasting attachments. It is developed from the quality of the parental bond from an early age. Dyadic Developmental Therapy for couples or parent/child dyads using Feuerstein’s FIE Basic, can help with intimacy, so just chat to our team for more information.
Click here for more information
Lust is driven by hormones and sexual desire or by the arousal of sensual memories stored in our brain. It is the memory of extreme pleasure/arousal that we seek to repeat. Our unique sexual habits and preferences arise from the balance of our inborn hormones and our early memories of sensual pleasure. Sexuality is inborn, and kids discover genital pleasures in their first years of life. Masturbation to orgasm may begin well before puberty and continues well into old age.
Click here for more information
Love is a temporary state, like lust, and is linked into emotions. Sexual problems may occur due to issues on any of these areas, with stress, fatigue and underlying psychological issues all impacting upon performance. Sexual ignorance, embarrassment and shame can also exacerbate sexual problems as this can prevent the person from seeking help.
Click here for more information
Sexual Chemistry and Lifestyle
Self-Help Tips for Sex
To Cool Off
If you tend to get sexually overheated before a date, try these ideas and rate your success for each one out of 20:
- Have a run or a workout – then relax in a tub before meeting up
- Meditate on your longer-term hopes and your dreams about love
- Visualise the two of you engaged in an energetic non-sensual sport e.g. rowing
- Write and memorise a script for discussing sex at your next meeting
- Masturbate before the date if you still need sexual relief
To Warm Up
If you can’t seem to feel sexually switched on before a date, try these suggestions and indicate your success for each one out of 20:
- Take a long sensuous and relaxing bath with soothing music and bath oils
- Visualise the two of you relaxing in your favourite peaceful place
- Imagine having a deep body massage (non-sexual) releasing energy from each muscle
- Visualise sharing an exciting sensual (non-sexual) adventure that you have never tried
- Masturbate in a slow sensuous way but without reaching orgasm
Simple Solutions for Normal Sex Problems
What’s the Difference Between Normal and Disturbed Sexual Behaviour?
Sexually arousing objects, fantasies and behaviours are strongly learnt and are difficult to change but don’t need to be altered unless they disturb other aspects of the person’s life and relationships.
- Learned sexual rituals that go against social taboos cause guilt/shame/stress disturbances and increase susceptibility to sex addictions or compulsions, ranging from harmless to extreme
- Sexual frequency disturbance usually subsides after adolescence, when masturbating several times daily can disturb studies and social skills
- In adults, extremely high (or low) sex frequency/masturbation can disturb economic, social and family stability due to incompatibility, infidelity, alienation or physical harm (self-mutilation or sadistic sex)
- Gender identity disturbances can affect gay or heterosexual females or males whose body dissatisfaction can range from normal to extreme pressure to change sexual appearance by cross-dressing or genital surgery. Severe stress/anxiety/depression can result from extreme pressure to change
Sexual Dysfunctions
- Viagra and other medical/surgical aids can often fail because specialised sex therapy has not been used to differentiate primary from secondary causes such as couple conflict, infidelity guilt or low self-esteem. These can persist and perpetuate sexual dysfunctions despite medical treatments
- Primary impotence is rare, affecting men who have never attained sufficient erections for vaginal penetration or sometimes for masturbation. Lifelong abstinence, low sex hormones and socio-sexual avoidance often result in alienation and impaired self-esteem, which make this a difficult condition to treat. If this is the case, you should insist on a full investigation of hormonal, vascular and psychosocial causes and a combined treatment program to ensure lasting effectiveness of treatment
- Secondary or partial impotence occurs only with some circumstances with particular partners. Drugs like Viagra may give temporary relief but rarely solve secondary impotence problems, and sometimes worsens the problem
- In women, primary (lifelong) Anorgasmia occurs when arousal to orgasm cannot be attained either by stimulation even in masturbation. This is usually a biopsychosociological problem that may involve low sex hormone levels as well as penetration fears i.e. vaginismus and avoidance learnt via restrictive upbringing and painful intercourse attempts. Effective sex therapy may involve relaxation and/or self-hypnosis, deconditioning negative beliefs and tension combined with a graded reconditioning of the orgasmic response through guided self-pleasuring. Initially therapy happens alone and later with a sexual partner
- In women, secondary sexual dysfunctions involve emotional responses of pain or fear that make penetration or even contact difficult due to beliefs, relationship stress or infection. These can be successfully treated if the causes are accurately diagnosed and treated by specialised psychologists. Medication or surgery are very rarely appropriate and can sometimes make matters worse.
